15.6.12

Love Your Mama & Enjoy Your Visit

This week we took the big trip up to visit my parents. It's always stressful and exciting for both myself and the kids. Being in the car for 8 hours is never fun, but once we are there, the kids have a great time with their cousins. I love my parents and am always excited to see them, too, but our visits don't always go smoothly. Believe me, I love my Mama, but our opinions sometimes clash and I'm pretty sure she'd try to send me to my room if she could.

I know many of my readers have similar types of relationships with their parents and this is pretty par for the course. The funny thing is that, from afar, we miss each other and talk about the next time we can get together. I call her every day and she calls me. When I am here, there always comes a point where I'm just ready to leave.

Why does this happen? I did a little research to see what other experts had to say on the subject and here's what I found.

1. You idea of "home" changes. - When we are younger and living in the house with our parents, we consider this place our home. We get homesick and want to sleep in our own room, etc. However, as we grow up, move out and have our own family, our new dwelling becomes this "home"! It's completely normal to get homesick even when visiting your old home. Your kids will probably feel the same way.

2. Personality Clashes - A huge percentage of daughters say they get along with their fathers much better. Why is this? Okay, take a deep breath before reading this one... Well, many of us hate to admit it, but the reason is because we are so much like our own mothers.

3. Past Conflict - Mothers and daughters often have complex relationships built over the years with each other. Some are good, others are bad, but all shape our personalities and often effect how we interact with each other. Things may be good between you now, but those past experiences and conflicts are still there and can sometimes bring up other issues.

How many have experienced these 3 things during a visit? I have definitely been through all three. I think the most important thing for everyone is just to enjoy the time together, take a deep breath when conflict arises and just move along. Easier said than done? Know your limits. Set a time limit for the visit so you can focus on the time there. Don't overstay your welcome and don't stretch the visit too long. We stay for about a week, which is just long enough for us to have a great time with Grandma, but also miss home.

Josiah is ready to go home today and so am I! We miss Papa and our little kittens, that's for sure. Plus, I can't wait to sleep in my own bed. I may get upset during a visit, but don't you ever say or think I don't love my Mama! Those are fightin' words! I know my daughter will probably feel this way someday, too, but I better just enjoy these years while they still love every minute of being with Mama. :)

4 comments:

Maureen said...

Oh my! I can so relate! My stepmom and I definitely clash!

Maureen
maureen.tenney@gmail.com

jenzen69 said...

Thank you, this really has helped realize some of the issues I have with going home. I have anxiety every time we go although I love my mom very much. I am so glad she is 15 hrs away I don't think I could handle it any closer haha

stefanie gladden said...

this is great advice, I really appreciate it!

Pam2424 said...

My mother and I definitely have a complex relationship, but, after I moved away from home, we became best friends. We still have our moments, but, for the most part, we get along beautifully. We are so much alike, it's scary at times. Thanks for this post.

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